Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sweet Revenge

I came up to NYC to celebrate my ladies 26th birthday. & an hour before the clock struck midnight, we went to the west village to have a pre-celebratory cupcake at Sweet Revenge where they pair their cupcakes with either wine or beer. Um, genius. Enough said.

Happy, happy birthday, Amy!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

You got designer shades just to hide your face and you wear 'em around like you're cooler than me

Taking a break from blogging for the remainder of the summer to do really cool & adventurous things like eat lychee's from the side of the road, play with my cute camera (thanks Amy for the early birthday present!) and continue to work on my killer figure. Maybe I'll occasionally update but don't hold your breath.

So long gay boys!

Friday, July 9, 2010

This is why we can't have nice things.

Allow me to be a tad superficial as I feel the need to defend myself.

Last week, a horrible little man called me "chubby".

The conversation went like this:

At "work" HBL (Horrible Little Man) comes up to register for a seminar and sees me drinking coke.
HBL: You know, you really shouldn't drink that.
NCG (Not Chubby Girl): I know, I actually don't like soda much but it's all they have here.
HBL: Drink water.
NCG: The water here tastes like ass.
HBL: People should avoid MSG, trans fat and saccharin blahblahblahblah. Tell me, have you ever struggled with your weight?
NCG: Um, no. Technically I'm "overweight" for my height but I've always weighed the same for the past 5 years, give or take 10 lbs. (Blame it on Luv Chub)
HBL: How tall are you and how much do you weigh? (I'm one of those you ask me anything & I will tell you because I have NO filter or shame)
NCG: 5' 2", 127 lbs.
HBL: ::gives me a "I feel so sorry for you" face that almost resembled SATC's "Face Girl"::
NCG: Why do you ask?
HBL: You can't ask me that because I'm going to be honest.
NCG: Tell me.
HBL: You look chubby.

Anyone who knows me at all, knows I am not sensitive nor do I get offended easily, if ever. And for those who don't know me, I'm letting you know that in fact, I often prefer offensive and crude conversations and jokes. But I was not expecting that at all. I was shocked, and yes, appalled. I may have even cried in the privacy of my car a little at first.

Now, I don't usually take full body pictures (they can be found) because I feel it's all very "facebook" (and sometimes even a little "myspace") and I'm a grown ass woman that doesn't feel the need to show how perky my butt is or how small my boobs are ('cause I know you're all into small boobs. don't lie.) and because, well, let's face it, I do like to partake in a little culinary delight every so often, so you'll usually only get a picture of my pre-"I'm about to tear some shit up face" but uh, I think anyone can clearly see I am in no way chubby. 6 lbs (to be exact) overweight, oh, you can bet your sweet ass but FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.

This post is not intended as group therapy. I don't need any "OMG, you're SO not chubby" comments because I know I'm not and I love food way too much to throw it up later so please don't be concerned for my mental or physical health. Actually, I'm not sure there's a point to this except to rant a little and say "Fuck you, you Amway seminar attending douchebag".

I'm going to go eat a kit kat,


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Hunger Headaches

I get them often. Usually on the weekends.

But I think it's safe to say I found the cure.

Behold: Salchipapas!

Sliced hot dogs & salty french fries > 500mg Aleve

Thank you Los Perros for salvaging my afternoon.

"Am I hideous?"

This will be me in a couple of days. I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm hoping that having braces will stop me from stuffing my face as much as I do. I seriously doubt it but it's okay to dream.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Los Primos Chimi Truck


jugo de chinola - passion fruit juice [OMGYUM]

possibly cat meat?
who cares? i'm dominican.
dame un chimi!

That's a little spanglish love haiku I wrote in honor of chimi's. The chimi's I'm talking about are not to be confused with the green, garlicky chimichurri sauce from South America that's slathered on steak. This is better. Then again I am a little biased.

Chimi's (pronounced chee-me) are the Dominican version of the hamburger. Thin, ground beef patties seasoned mainly with oregano, grilled and placed on a roll, topped with cabbage instead of lettuce, tomato, sliced onions and a big ol' squirt of "secret" sauce containing ketchup, mayonnaise and a little soy sauce.

Los Primos Truck is in the hood and you'll know you're in the right spot if you hear a bunch of spanish people talking really fast, using their hands and greeting each other with "dime a ver" and "que lo que", or in my case, one guy bragging to his friend that he "could get twice as many girls" than him. Yeah, definitely Dominicans.

How I know Los Primos is thee spot for chimis in Miami?

Because you won't get an ill case of the hershey squirts that is the usual and unfortunate side item you forgot you ordered.

Now go to Los Primos and repeat after me

"Loh-koh! Dah-meh oon chee-mee e oon hoo-go deh chee-noh-lah!"

Say it as loud and as fast as possible.

Congratulations, you're one of us!

Ain't it grand.

Monday, July 5, 2010

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

That last line of the star spangled banner always gets to me!

It was a very wet and humid weekend here in south Miami but I'd never let a little rain stop me from celebrating.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Happy 4th of July Weekend!

I looooove Independence Day.

I'm thinking a picnic, lots of homemade lemonade and sparklers are in order.

and of course, dancing around like a jackass to my favorite summer song of all time.

Have a good one!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Mr. Yum

Volcano Roll
left: Shrimp Shumai right: Wahoo w/ Ponzu Sauce
left: Tony Roll right: Ño Roll

left: thai donuts w/condensed milk right: twinkie tempura

I spotted this place late one night after eating at Mi Rinconcito Mexicano and I couldn't help but think, "Damn, maybe we should've eaten there!". Not only because Pacquito's in Aventura still has my heart when it comes to Mexican food, but because Mr. Yum's was crazy packed. I was still skeptical because of the cheesy name and location but decided to "put it on my list" anyway.

The decor was not what I expected at all. It's very, well, white. Feels like a tiny boutique restaurant. Luckily, I went right before the dinner rush and was seated right away. The menu is large, unique and takes inspiration from their Little Havana location including things like their ño roll which has sweet plantains and mango sauce and after indulging in their thai donuts, you can top it off with a cuban cortadito. That's all kinds of awesome.

I always ask myself one question when I'm done with a meal. Would I go back? Sometimes, even though a meal is good, I wouldn't bother returning because it wasn't anything special. This place is something special. Everything I had was really freaking good and I can't wait to try their lobster roll, which seems to be the star on their menu.

I suggest going before 8pm or you may have a different experience.