Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A conversation


To be read in Spanish if possible.

Mom: You know, when you move to New York you have to be prepared for anything. You should carry a pair of flats in your purse "por si acaso se arma un rebulu" (a dramatic way of saying "in case an emergency occurs" in Spanish).

Me: I always carry a pair of flats in my purse but is that your discreet way of saying I should prepare myself for Osama's retaliation?

Mom: Yes. I think of everything. One should always be prepared. I even thought of buying you something for you to always have with you.

Me (loling): What, mace?

Mom: Well, yeah that too but I also wanted to buy you something you can use in case you get trapped somewhere and can't free yourself...something that people will be able to hear. I want to buy you "un pito" (a whistle). You know, some people were saved during 9/11 because they made noise and were heard. With a whistle, it'll make it easier.

Dude...how fucking nuts is she. Speaking of nuts, it gets better.

Mom: I'm even gonna buy you some small bags of peanuts so you can sustain yourself for a few days in case anything happens.

& there you have it, folks.